The Hamster Wheel

⁣We hear the advice to “get off the hamster wheel.” Then there are the articles on how to get off the hamster wheel. Tips and tricks like “do something creative” and “spend time outside.” But there is this harsh truth that no one wants to talk about … so you get off the hamster wheel of your life, and then what? ⠀ ⠀

You get off the hamster wheel and then you realize you live in a box. Yup, a box. Because logically if you’re a hamster in a wheel, you’re in a cage (i.e. a box), living as someone’s pet. What an absolutely horrific thought! Why is it so horrific? Because in the context of this article, then you’ve been dealt with a new decision. If you’re not on the hamster wheel in your box and you’re in a box, you’re going to get bored. So, do you get back on the hamster wheel, so at least you have some exercise (or I guess you could run around the box) or…⠀ ⠀

Or you have to find a way out of the box. ⠀

Now, if you’re someone’s pet and you want to break free, you have to plot and plan. Which means getting really creative. Find ways to use your feet like suction cups to scale the cage? Probably not going to work. Catapult yourself from on-top of the hamster wheel?… again probably not going to work. If you get out of the box, option one is you have to get out so that no one notices because otherwise, they will do their best to catch you and place you back in the box. Mind you, you have to make sure there aren’t any pets that might want to eat you or attack you.⠀ ⠀

Another option (but you should make sure you’ve properly planned out the escape route), is to bite your owner’s hand when you see an available exit and bolt for an exit. Here is another philosophical debate because do you bite the hands that feed you? Especially when your owner probably never thought that you hate being there. And also, you actually might not really hate being there.

Mind you, after all this, what the hell do you do once you’re outside in the wild? You’ve been in a cage your whole life. And as a hamster, there are a lot of predators. So, once you’ve thought through all the options, which one do you actually want to pick?

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